“A Country Boy Can Survive”
How my grandfather grew up in small town America with the legacy of a family business, and threw it all away in pursuit of his dreams.
Way off in the distance, the train horn blows, announcing the arrival of a new shipment of concrete, and supplies for the local hardware store, Lay’s Hardware. As the train winds along the forested, shady tracks, a little kid runs beside it, somewhere between ages 10–14, sweaty from the midday heat, tired from a hard day in the shop. My grandfather pauses to catch his breath, then continues running, as he always does, to meet the train at the station. To his right is his younger brother, to the left the train cars, rumbling by, steady in rhythm, steady in speed. The days are long, he’s payed nothing, being the owners son, and he wants to quit some days, but he pushes on, the life of a kid in a small town with a family business.
When I was younger I always used to love spending time with my grandfather, Happy, the charismatic man that he was. We would often drive up from my home in Morganton, NC, into the mountains of Virginia, to a small town known as Coeburn, the birthplace of my grandfather, where he learned to be a man, and where he made the decision to leave it all behind, the family business, the town he grew up, the only place he knew as home, in search of a dream.
My grandfather was always a man I looked up to, one I aspired to be. In my eyes, growing up as a young boy, he was an idol to me. We used to do everything together, build leaf piles and jump in them, throw footballs in the yard, build fires up at the mountain house. Over the years he and I continued to grow closer and I continued to gain more respect for him. Then one day he was in a terrible car accident driving back from the beach in which he flipped his suburban multiple times and barely made it out alive. Since then he has continued to be himself, not letting his reduced motor skills affect him and how he lives his life. Since then I have only gained more respect for him as a man, father, and grandfather.
“I‘m blessed”
A conversation with Wood Lay
The time leading up to the interview was a mess, I was supposed to drive down to do it on Saturday, then got delayed because a tree fell on my grandparents house, I was then supposed to do it over the phone on Monday which got postponed due to someone passing out in the chair at my grandfathers office, resulting in a mess with insurance Happy had to deal with. It then got rescheduled to Wednesday which got postponed because I had to take my Tacoma to the mechanic.
All in all, when the time for the interview came around, Happy and I were both relieved and excited we had finally gotten to it. I was in my room at my house with the window open and the birds chirping outside. I could still feel the morning breeze on my cheek as it blew in through the window.
- What’s your full name, date of birth, and where were you born?
Wood Neblett Lay, June 7th 1940, Coeburn.
2. What is your favorite part about Coeburn?
Everything about Coeburn was it was just a really small town. I like small
towns.
3. Why do why do you like bands such as Simon and Garfunkel?
Well, it’s not really one of my favorite bands. I just happen to have that. And that taping gave it to y’all when you went across country. And I think that made you think that it was one of my favorites.
4. So what are some of your favorite bands and why you like them?
Well, one of my favorite bands of the Eagles. The reason I like them is because they’re good music too. If you listen closely, the words have some pretty powerful meaning.
5. Do you have any siblings?
Yes, I have a younger brother, Don Lay.
6. As a kid, What memories Did you have that associated with Lay’s hardware/Coeburn?
Oh, the memories I have. I just have memories of my dad working back in his office in the back. And the memories that we worked, basically, we
work there and helped him as a teenager. And we would go over and one of the things that he would do he would call me when he needed a little extra help and all the supplies came in rail car and boxcar he would call them and the most difficult jobs was when cement came in. And cement was bagged in 95 pound bags. And we would unload by hand. Everything was done by hand. Didn’t have any fork trucks or anything. Then we would unload those
out of the box car onto the truck. Right back to the hardware store and
unload them. That was really hard work.
7. This is kind of a two part question. Why or how like hard was it to leave Coburn knowing that you had Lay’s hardware, I mean that you could have had a future and kinda you know?
Yeah, I gotcha. It wasn’t hard at all. Because, as I say, Coeburn was a small town, it suited me great. Growing up, and when I was in high school, and it was a small school, and I could participate in the sports. You saw or knew everybody. But as I, grew older, I realized that it was so small that it had a lot of limitations. We didn’t have a theater. So the town was, obviously amazing.
As time goes, by, as I could see, I wanted to go somewhere that had a brighter future, and I also realized the hardware store had seen it’s better days, and my dad did as well, realize that, it wouldn’t be a question of building the business back up and whatnot, because the surrounding community was losing population. And in fact, that turned out to be true. And the town today is a lot worse off than it was when I live there. As far as the economy, the whole economy was based on coal mining. And as you probably know, coal is becoming less and less and has been for a long time, out of favor. So there was just there was no future there. Even though the hardware store was there, and it served our family extremely well.
Most things are like that. They start out and they build up. And then they start to diminish. And that was true about the hardware. And so it was there too right. I never entertained the idea that I would stay and I think dad would have been flattered if I had stayed. But by the same token, I think he was glad to see me expand my horizons and reach reach for something.
8. So then did you always intend to go into orthodontics? Did you ever consider taking over the shop?
It was never a consideration. Know me when I went to college, William and Mary is where I went to college. And I had no idea what I was going to do. I had an uncle who was a dentist, but he lived in Erie, Pennsylvania. So I didn’t really have any, any contact with him. I had a first cousin who married a dentist who practiced in a little town next door, Norton. So I had some coins with dentistry, but I never really envisioned that I would go into dentistry.
So I went away I was planning on getting a liberal arts degree. And so there were some prerequisite courses you had to take. I mean, you had to take English you had to take math, you had to take a science, the things that you you had to take in order to get a degree. And so that’s what I was doing. But I sort of liked science and and couldn’t envision going into English it was so subjective. I like math. I like math and science better than I did English literature and English grammar and history and things like that. I said well, my sophomore year, I said, well, I guess I think I’ll major in chemistry, which means, you know, you take most of your client chemistry classes. And in my junior year, I realized that, you know, what, what can I do with a chemistry degree? Not much but teach. And on top of that, that senior year, I was gonna have to take some really difficult chemistry courses and really wasn’t looking forward to that.
And I said I think I’m just gonna apply to dental school and just see what happens. And this is after my junior year, usually it took four years and it does today. Have four years in college and then you go on to dental school. But I was going to try to do it after three years, because there were rumors or stories that you could get into law school after three years. I think my grades were not stellar. But they weren’t bad. They were right, middle and I applied. And by some hook or crook, not hook or crook but some quirk of fate. I got accepted. Really, really lucky I got accepted. I said well, I’ll go to dental school and if I go and find out I don’t like it then I’ve only lost a year so to speak, and I can always come back and get my degree I didn’t have a degree from still to this very day from way rebury. Like a BA or BS or whatever so I just went in I was just, man I was just freewheeling I didn’t know how this thing was gonna play out but I went one year and got a year and it looks good and people I know who are dentists they’re making a good living and looks to me like I will make a good living doing this I can hold my own with the rest of these people in here. So I felt I did.
I went ahead and did all four years. So my senior year in dental school, there are different departments there. I think I was the only kid in my school with braces we had to go 50 miles to Bristol for every appointment and what orthodontist around that part of the country like a pretty good deal here. I know guys are making a lot of money. You don’t have to do the dirty work of dentistry which is pulling teeth, cleaning teeth as opposed to working on a very healthy segment of population, you don’t have to worry about somebody having a heart attack in your chair, stroke or whatever. So it’s like an ideal situation here. They only take four guys a year into the orthodontic program. And I said, Well, what am I going to lose? I’ll see if I get in.
And I did get rejected, which really didn’t surprise me. I said, Okay, well, where am I going to set up practice? Go back to Coeburn, that area, because I left there for a good reason. I’m not sure where I want to go to practice. So I think I will go volunteer to the Air Force, which I did. Then I decided to apply again. I mean, it’s just such an appealing part of dentistry and I’m too far away to set up a practice back home in Virginia. And Virginia, was the only state that was really in license because in dentistry, at that time, every state gave its own exam. Or they would allow you to practice in that state. That was the only one I was really licensed for practicing. Anyway, so I applied. And I got accepted into orthodontic school. So sure enough, I did get accepted the second time around. It’s an interesting story too, for another day. So that’s how I ended up in orthodontics go. Didn’t make it the first time and didn’t give it up and and I had something to fall back on.
9. So do you have like one or two stories from being in the shop? Just short stories.
Yes. We unloaded it. I actually made the delivery. Got to drive the truck it was a dump truck. And you had to learn how to operate to drive and deliver sand or gravel or whatever we’re about to sell in our store. We sell everything from horse cars to dynamite. We stored the dynamite back out in the warehouse just in a metal box basically. One day I asked is it dangerous back there and he explained to me that until you wire it with a fuse it was fairly inert.
We had an elevator, a freight elevator in that warehouse. And the way that thing works is you go on elevator and is big rope. I mean the thing was big around as part of your arm. And the way you work you pull along that rope and that runs through a series of basically pulleys up in the ceiling until you raise the elevator up from one floor to the next. It was pretty neat operation and it’s probably still sitting there today. That stands out.
10. So what was your dad like?
He was a very calm person. I never saw him as a role model per say . I don’t think I ever saw him mad. I never heard him use a curse word he was known in town as an outstanding businessman and an honest man. He served on the city council I think he is a youngest man to ever be elected to city council in Coeburn as well thought. He was a big supporter of the First Baptist Church, there’s a big plaque in the stone wall and the church. Last time I saw it was still there on the front. As a memorial to him for how supportive he was of the church as cool. He was always going to work. He was a person that you would admire and want and want to want to please, or certainly didn’t want to disappoint.
11. So as a child, how did you view him? I mean, you look up to him, was he a role model for you?
It was automatic. I never sat there and looked at it. And, you know, man, I won’t be just like he is. It was just one of those things that almost happened like osmosis. I mean, just him just being my dad, I just realized, this is how you’re supposed to live. This is how you, how you’re supposed to do things. So it wasn’t a conscious thing that, you know, I’m going to be just like him. Yes. And it’s just, I don’t want to disappoint. You say, I don’t want to do that he would be disappointed if he found out. That kind of thing.
12. So do you remember any specific stories about running the store or advice your dad gave you?
No, not really, and, because it was because he wasn’t one to give advice. Like I say, you know, he never really used the word lecture or as in, give advice. He said, you know, he would just say, you know, son, if you’re if you’re going to take on a job or if you’re going to take on an endeavor, you do the best you can and then it doesn’t mean that by doing the best you can, that it’s you’re going to be a success, or that you will have succeeded in that and that he didn’t expect me to succeed in everything I did but he expected me to try my best, within reason, do the best you can at what you’re doing.
When I was applying to colleges. I don’t remember him giving me advice on where to go. I’d like to think this. He didn’t really give me a whole lot of interference with my life telling me what to do, what not to do. But I always knew that if I was on the wrong track he would have steered me back on the right track. And it didn’t have to be said, it didn’t have to be put in words I mean, it was just it was just there. You just knew how you’re supposed to do things and and this way you do.
13. Did your relationship with your dad worsen as a result of you moving away?
No, no, no. I think he was proud of what I was able to do.
14. Do you still feel any sort of connection to the store? I know it’s not in the family anymore, but it still holds your last name. Do you feel any sort of connection to it?
Sure. Cuz that’s really, that store. Up until about now, in my life, I’m 80, that store was my, the root of my success. Financially, and, emotionally and you know, that’s what I grew up with. So I feel that connection. But I also realize that was then and this is now and as I grew older, I realized what a good job my dad did in running that store, and making a good living doing so. Because I found out as I’ve gone out, and had to start my own business, my own practices and be successful at it. It’s not easy to do. It’s hard. And I probably didn’t appreciate how hard he worked in building the store, because he took over from his dad. So that store was there and Coeburn for 100 years or longer. So it was a big part of the family. But by the same token, very few things last forever. As part of my history I don’t cling to it. But I’m proud to have been a part of it.
15. Do you think that the town benefits like you think Coburn benefits from it being a cultural center instead of an actual instead of an actual shop?
It has. And that all came into being actually when dad died, we are, we being my brother and I. We now are owners and are responsible for that property. And neither one of us had any intention of moving back to Coeburn. So that basically was the end of the hardware store. And I happen to be friends with a fella named Dr. Harrell Ringly, who was the only dentist in Coburn. And he was also Mayor the town. But for a little town like Coeburn, he was also somewhat of a visionary. And when he realized he saw this potential to turn the hardware store into a mountain culture or venue. And that would be a drawing card for Coeburn. And we wanted to sell the store. So he and I got together. And since he was mayor of the town. We cut a deal where we sold the store to the town.
I got a call from him one day. And he said, Wood that sign out in front of the hardware store is rusted and deteriorating. And it hangs right over the sidewalk and is dangerous and we’re going to have to take it down. I know it’s a big part of the store and it’s an important fixture has been 15 years, but I said well, you know, how much will it costs to refurbish it. Well, I’ll get to it and call you. He said you won’t believe this but it costs $5,000. And we were not willing to spend that money to do that. You mentioned that sign had a lot of sentimentality in my mind, it was a really wonderful tribute to dad. And I said I tell you what if you all will have it refurbished I will pay for it. And they agreed to that. So I pay for the sign to be refurbished and put back up there. I mean, the reason I did it, when I said this is my tribute. This is a tribute to my dad, I could’ve done a really magnificent tombstone. Instead, this is what I’m doing it for my dad’s memory. And then the whole thing started to sort of change on that side. Another business, they had an old timey side there, so they decide to refurbish that, and then another one to do the same thing. So it turned out that that sort of kick started the whole thing.
16. If you could move back and inherit the shop would you?
No.
17. So then why did you choose to live in Spartanburg?
I went when I finished orthodontic school when I was when I was finishing up. You got to you got to start looking for practice again. And now I’m married kids are three and four, maybe five I guess. I sort of had to drop back and there was a guy in Roanoke looking for an associate. So we decided to go there, worked for him for a couple years, realized that I just didn’t like working for another person that I wanted to be my own boss. So previously, I’d come down to South Carolina, and talk to a guy over in a town called Anderson. But I remembered driving through Spartanburg. And I’d said that might be a good town to live in. It’s got a couple of colleges in it, it’s got the right sized town we’re looking for.
So I convinced Janice, or Janice was nice enough and understanding enough. And she understood how to have more practice. She was willing to move. And we were talking about that last night matter of fact. And we both agreed if we had stayed in Roanoke, that we would have probably been just as successful and just as happy and enjoyed it just as much as we do. The one thing that really convinced her that it might be a good move is our son. Now, Woody, your uncle, I’m not gonna say was sickly, but he had a couple of really scary bouts of the Croup. I mean, where he’s in like an oxygen tent and being it was scary. So we thought the climate would be much nicer down here and it is much nicer down here.
So we came down here and I hung my shingle out and didn’t know a soul and started from scratch. When we look back on it possibly a little foolish because I had a good deal in Roanoke. But it turned out okay. We took a big risk. But once again to go back. But I knew if I fell flat on my face and I could have always called my dad up and said, “Look, you know, I’m broke, I took took this chance.” And now I knew he would always be there and say well son you know I’ll help you out till you get back on your feet or so. So even though he didn’t really he didn’t bankroll me or pay for me to set up the practice and that sort of thing. I always knew that he had my back.
18. How do you think your dad and the shop influenced the man you became?
It’s too hard to explain that.
19. When what when have you been the happiest in your life?
Oh, I’ve not had many ups and downs. Especially not many downs. I’ve been pretty happy. I mean, I’ve been blessed. I mean, I’ve had a great life. I’ve not have I have not had one spell one segment of it. When I was the happiest, I mean, I’ve been happy the whole time. Hell that’s why y’all call me Happy. I’m not a person that has highs and lows. I’m a person that’s pretty much even. I take the bad along with the good.
Now, I mean, there have been instances where it could you know, if you were a more volatile in person, there have been plenty of times when you know, this sucks. This is not good when you apply for ortho school you don’t get in, when you plan on going to a little town and a guy goes in and sets up their practice six months before and screws your whole plan up and things like that you can let it dwell on it. It’s a pretty happy moment when you get accepted. But it’s not like I’m euphoric. Not the happiest time in my life, and I just take the good with the bad, it’s , they’re both gonna be theres gonna be good and bad. But I don’t dwell on either one.
20. So then, what was the lowest point in your life? What would you say was one of the lower points in your life? And how did you bounce back from it?
I just been blessed never been terrible. I’ve got so many friends that, you know, maybe lost one of their parents when they were young. Or have a child that was born with a deformity, or wife or husband dies of disease And I didn’t. I mean, it’s just been so fortunate that didn’t have a time when I was really down and out. And I feel like I’ve had disappointments. I’ve never been a person with really high expectations. And therefore when they proved not to pan out, it wasn’t like a giant let down. I mean, I just, I’, not an up and down person. And I’ve been blessed not to have these catastrophes like so many people. But fortunately, they never did happen to me. I was very lucky. Blessed.
21. Have you ever considered moving back to Coburn?
No.
22. Are you happy where you are?
Yes.
Oral History Reflection Questions:
How does your tradition-bearer’s story relate to your community in both the present and the past? How does it relate to you?
My grandfather’s story relates to us at Christ School because he was also in a small environment, both in college at William and Mary, and in Coeburn. His story relates to me specifically because I, like him, will one day go to college and leave Morganton, like I have a already started doing, and I don’t think I’ll be coming back.
How did your perception of community history change, from before the interview to now?
My perception changed and I think it made me value community history more, the history of your town or of a key spot I found out, can tell the story for many more people than you would’ve ever thought. I’m going to do some research into Morganton’s history and the rise of the furniture industry just to find out more.
How did this project inspire you to learn more about your family and community?
It inspired me to learn more because like I said above often times community can tell a lot of stories, and a lot of really cool ones at that. As for my family it made me realize how cool we really are as a group and that maybe I should start joining my mom on her trips.
What were some of the challenges you faced during this project? What could you do differently in your next oral history interview?
One of the problems I faced was definitely forming a time for an interview, my grandfather still runs an office so he’s busy a lot and I have school and sports so I need to plan a time out better next time. Also I need to make sure to do it in person because the odds of your audio coming out bad are worse over the phone than in person.
If the roles were reversed and you became the tradition-bearer, what stories would you like to tell?
I would like to tell of Christ School, these guys here are my best friends and probably will be forever, we’ve had some good times and some bad times, and so far I’ve spent the lowest points of my life with them and they’ve helped me build back up to where I want to be. So that’s what I’d tell about.
Research Goals:
My research goals for this project paper are to learn more about how my grandfathers life has been connected to Lay’s Hardware, what it was like growing up in a small town, how he decided to move, etc… Through google I was able to find some websites and articles that I believe will help me throughout this process and that will help me better understand small small town America. Also, my own life has helped me in my research because I also grew up in a small town, Morganton, and have an idea as to what it’s like.
Sources:
- “Rural Life in the Late 19th Century : Rise of Industrial America, 1876–1900 : U.S. History Primary Source Timeline : Classroom Materials at the Library of Congress : Library of Congress.” The Library of Congress, www.loc.gov/classroom-materials/united-states-history-primary-source-timeline/rise-of-industrial-america-1876-1900/rural-life-in-late-19th-century/.
- Harris, Rachel L., and Lisa Tarchak. “Small-Town America Is Dying. How Can We Save It?” The New York Times, The New York Times, 22 Dec. 2018.
- Engle, Jeremy. “Do You Think the American Dream Is Real?” The New York Times, The New York Times, 12 Feb. 2019.
- Moritz, Katie. “I Survived My Move From Small Town to Big City, and You Can Too.” REWIRE, 23 Jan. 2020.
